Alternative Universe: Election 2016

What if there was “Bizarro” Universe* and Donald Trump was the political opposite that he is in our world? To put it another way, what if the Trump/Pence Republican platform championed liberal values? Imagine Donald J. Trump as a defender of a woman’s right to choose, a champion of environmental issues, including the idea that global climate change is a reality brought on my the massive use of fossil fuels. Suppose Trump was a supporter of tolerance and an enemy of racial discrimination, as well as believing that that even illegal immigrants should be given a chance to become citizens in a country whose values they hold as dearly as native-born residents do.

Ok, now… are you still with me?

Now let’s say this same Donald J. Trump was still a total asshole!

In other words, other than his political ideals, which might happen to be similar to your own, this Bizaaro Donald J. Trump is an egomaniacal, narcissistic, misogynist, who makes fun of disabled people, brags about grabbing women “by the pussy” considers anybody lass affluent than himself, or less than a “10” on the attractive scale “a loser” and, as well, is a bully, a philanderer, a lecher and a potential pedophile. In addition lets suppose that this Bizaaro Trump has, like his real-world counterpart, filed for bankruptcy four times, criticized a well-known POW by saying” I like people who weren’t captured”, has paid no Income Tax in the past 20 years (claiming that simply makes him smart) and ran a “University” scam that is currently under investigation for fraud.

As a someone with a Liberal leaning, could you really still bring yourself to vote for this guy even if his opponent were a champion of the Right? Would Bizaaro Trump still get your vote over a candidate in favor of reversing Roe vs. Wade, who was pro-fossil fuel, who thought Global Warming was non-existent or even a Chinese plot, was a racist who had the proclaimed backing of the Ku-Klux-Klan as well as such antagonistic anti-American leaders as Kim-Jun-Un and Vladimir Putin?

It was only when I forced myself to view this presidential election in these terms that I realized that, for many people, the strong, almost fanatical support of one or two specific party platforms can be enough for them to happily ignore the myriad of his negative aspects and support Donald Trump for POTUS.

Although there are many, many stupid people who support Donald Trump, for reasons only their little pea brains can comprehend, there are also (and I can’t believe that I’m saying this) some people out there who are backing Trump for some logical political reasons.

Prioritizing as a Reason for Support

There are a good number of people out there who abhor Trump’s major personal and political flaws but, because they believe that certain policies, which Trump is avowedly for, are of far more importance than the fact that Trump is a complete asshole, they fully intend to vote for him.

Right-wing supporters of such platforms as “Right-to-Life” see this issue as trumping (no pun intended) absolutely any other aspect of the election. I have no doubt that, if the New York Times published a 100% verified story about Donald Trump working weekends as a circus geek, biting the heads off of live chickens, the large majority of these supporters would respond “Well that may be true, but at least “The Donald” will overturn Roe vs. Wade.”

The same thing goes for all of those people who, after thinking it over long and hard, are willing to forgive Trump all of his trespasses as long as he builds that fucking wall! They are prioritizing the importance of their strongly held belief and selecting it over the undebatable fact that the election of Donald J. Trump to the highest office in the land will bring about a presidential term of cataclysmic proportions.

There is however, hope for these people.

            If you have an acquaintance who is an avowed Trump supporter, and this support is due to the feeling that one of the issues that Trump champions is so important that they are forced to overlook all his past assholyness and scumbaggery, then please do this:

Don’t bother trying to repeat the myriad of faults, lies and chicanery of “The Donald” to them. They will not listen. Instead calmly explain the following…

  1. At this point, unless Jesus H. Christ comes down from heaven and campaigns for Donald Trump while riding a Tyrannosaurus that shoots lasers from his eyes, Trump has got as much of a chance of becoming President as I do of becoming Pope. (Which ain’t gonna happen.)
  1. Therefore if you really believe in that special, much-cherished ideal of yours, which this wife-cheating, bill-skipping, tax-dodging megalomaniac is merely saying he agrees with just to get your vote, why don’t you find another candidate who is running for POTUS who really believes in this just as strongly as you do!
  1. Explain that there are many non-mainstream candidates who would love to have their vote. In fact rather than throwing their right to vote away on a charlatan who is out to screw everybody except his rich friends, please consider voting for one of the candidates below who strongly believe as you do:

The following candidates are running as ”Third Party” candidates or as Independents and may (or may not ) be on the ballot in your state. You will have to check out their policies for yourself. (No promises, but at least they are not Trump.)

The Libertarian Party

The Constitution Party

The Green Party       * Please note a vote for this party might take away votes from the Democratic candidate (Just like it did in the Bush/Gore Election of 2000. (Remember that one ?)

To see at least 15 more candidates who you might want to vote for, and might be on the ballot in your state please go to:

If you scroll waaaaaay down to the bottom of that webpage, you will also find a treasure-trove of candidates, who you might want as your write-in candidate. Once again, at least they’re not “The Donald”.

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